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BLINK AND MISSED exclusive never-before-seen footage of Public Enemies, Amelia, 500 Days Of Summer, Whatever Works, Inglourious Basterds, Sherlock Holmes, and more during the credits. I'm glad I stuck around!

I'm done. Thanks for following me on this wondrous and shitty night. Join me next year as Shutter Island wins Best Picture. Thank you!

11:53: Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire. 12 for 24. Half right. Aww, nuts.

11:52 - God I love movies.

11:46 - I suppose it's better that Penn's up there shaming gay-haters than Rourke taking about his dogs and bangin' girls in the ass. Thanks for recognizing him, though. That was good.

11:44 - Sean Penn just snatched the V-card from Rourke so hardcore. OUCH. OUUCCH. Best Actor: Sean Penn. 11 for 23. I am a commy, homo-loving bastard, Sean. But, wow. That's an upset.

11:37 - What an epic line-up of MEN

11:33 - Best Actress: Kate Winslet, The Reader. 11 for 22. Whoop-de-doo.

11:24 - Alright: Hathaway, Rourke, Slumdog. Let's get it over with.

11:22 - Boyle's a great director, but it's too bad he's being rewarded for crap like Slumdog.

11:21: Best Director: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire. 11 for 21. 7th for Slumdog. And Boyle's on crack.

11:20 - I love David Fincher more than you.

11:19 - Ooh, Director before Actor/Actress.

11:15 - Not bad... except I hate the Queen.

11:11 - Death montage.

11:08 - At least we get to see non-Indians up there for a second.

11:07 - Best Foreign Film: Departures!!!???! What the fuck!? Ouch for Waltz. 10 for 20.

11:06 - What a random matchup. Neeson and the Slumdog chick?

11:01 - Best Original Song: Jai Ho, Slumdog Millionaire. Biggest crime of the fucking night. Not only did they cut down the fucking category to three nominees, but K-Oed the best songs and then snubbed the only real song for the win. FUCK. 10 for 19.

11:00 - I'm told that's John Legend. Whatever.

10:57 - Sad. Who is that in place of Gabriel? Whomever he is, he's not doing it justice.

10:56 - Boo. Still bitter about this montage thing. And the Bruce snub.

10:54 - Best Score: Slumdog. 10 for 18

10:51 - Pieces from each score... I like that.

10:49 - Is it a big surprise that a little asian girl can work a camera?

10:47 - This won't be over soon.

10:46 - Does PSH have cancer? What's with his nice little wool cap. Oh wait, chemo makes your beard hair fall out, too. I learned that from Sunny.

10:42 - Jerry Lewis gets an award for being funny, I guess. And for being a mega-humanitarian

10:41 - I shudder when I hear Eddie Murphy and nominee in the same phrase.

10:34 - Best Film Editing: Slumdog Millionaire. That one I got. 10 for 17.

10:33 - God, it's just sound. Get off!

10:31 - Best Sound Mixing: Slumdog Millionaire. I mixed 'em up! 9 for 16.

10:30 - OK, they just played fucking Mr. Blue Sky!!!

10:30 - Lemme guess; mixing is next.

10:29 - Best Sound Editing: The Dark Knight. Damn, I tagged it for mixing. 9 for 15.

10:28 - Will is so suave.

10:27 - Best Visual Effects: Button, once again! 3 for 7. Me: 9 for 14.

10:25 - Awesome. Action montages are the best.

10:23 - Now onto post-production awards.

10:22 - Tom Cruise doesn't have a cat.

10:19 - They just played the Cloverfield Anthem!

10:17 - Right on to short subject; they ain't messing around. Best Documentary Short-Subject: Smile Pinki. 8 for 13.

10:16 - I believe in magic, Phillipe!

10:15 - Best Documentary Feature: Man On Wire. 8 for 12.

10:14 - Boo Bill Maher. Your ridiculous movie was crap. Don't try to plug it. Why are you presenting this category?

10:12 - What teeth!

10:11 - Good.

10:08 - The family. Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger. 7 for 11.

10:07 - Who's gonna accept?

10:06 - Brothers need the work, says Cuba Gooding Jr. (Boat Trip).

10:04 - Really Alan Arkin? Seymour Philip Hoffman?

9:56 - We can't have Gabriel play all of Down To Earth, but we can have this??

9:46 - Best Live-Action Short Film: Toyland. Four years of his life on a 15 minute film. Wow. 6 for 10.

9:45 - Way to highlight to worst comedies.

9:38 - God, the Mastercard Badger commercials ALWAYS get to me.

9:35 - I just got it. First comes the script, then the costume, makeup, and the filming. They're making a movie. The Oscar's is a movie! I may sound patronizing, but it is cool. Then wait; supporting actress is the first thing that happens?

9:34 - That was great. Best Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire. 6 for 9.

9:32 - Yes! Joaquin Phoenix blasting!
 
9:30 - So, apparently having a hankering for a Coke is like heroin addiction.

9:25 - Like you know what Wings was, Robert and Amanda. Now for the romance montage. I LOVE these montages... they're like little Matt Shapiro vids all over again.

9:25 - Best speech yet. Just a huge list of names... and New Orleans.

9:24 - Best Makeup: The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. Good. Button: 2 for 5. Me: 5 for 8.

9:23 - Jesus, they're blasting through this. Now, makeup. Still bitter over no Synecdoche nod.

9:20 - Best Costume Design: The Duchess! My dark horse takes it! 4 for 7.

9:17 - Best Art Direction: The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. Button: 1 for 3. Me: 3 for 6.

9:15 - I loved Steve Martin and Tina Fey, by the way.

9:09 - Best Animated Short Film: La masion en petit cube. This guy can barely speak engrish. Then, domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. Furthering your own stereotypes. 2 for 5.

9:07 - Jack Black gives the award to the competition. Best Animated Feature. Do I even have to write it? WALL-E! 2 for 4.

9:03 - Boo! Don't reference your screenplay in your speech.

9:01 - Best Adapted Screenplay: Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog. The first of many... blah. 1 for 3.

9:00 - "Sleep me with me." "Absolutely." The best line from Button.

8:57 - This is all very innovative. Best Original Screenplay: Dustin Lance Black for Milk. He's gay! 1 for 2.

8:50 - The Hyundai commercials... that's definitely Jeff Bridges

8:48 - Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz. 1 for 1

8:46 - This IS different. I love it!

8:39 - That was awesome.

8:31 - I can't wait to see Jack Nicholson in his sunglasses.

8:28 - I may be mistaken, but that Cardi's ad might have had a Benjamin Button reference as well.

8:25 - Michael Giacchino is doing the music. Good.

8:02 - Josh Brolin is married to Diane Lane?

8:01 - I'll be back at 8:30.

8:00 - WHAT!? A fucking red carpet special?

7:59 - And here... we... go.

7:58 - HUGH BARBARA LAP DANCE

7:57 - Hugh Jackman gave Barbara Walters a lap dance.

7:41 - An Oscar: "you can't eat it, you can't fuck it, and it won't get you into heaven." Mickey

7:36 - Cardi's Furniture just did their take on The Ram and The Joker. [shudder].

7:32 - Promo for The Soloist... featuring The Killers' 'Human.' Yay! Too bad it's gonna suck. If you disagree, then tell me why it's coming out April 24th.

7:30 - Now Mickey Rourke's with Barbara... and he has his hand down his pants.

7:27 - I'm watching the Concorde disaster Dateline... and I've seen it before.

7:24 - Barbara Walters is overrated. And my ABC sucks. Imagine watching a VHS tape that's being rewound.


[He doesn't look pleased]

Some pre-show highlights:

<> Mickey Rourke won the Best Male Lead award last night at the Independent Spirit Awards. Here's his acceptance in it's entirely. Let's just say it rivals Tracy Morgan:


<> New predictions:

As much as I don't want most of this to happen, here's how it'll go down:

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Anne Hathaway in Rachel Getting Married

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Penélope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Best animated feature film of the year
WALL-E, Andrew Stanton

Achievement in art direction
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Donald Graham Burt, Victor J. Zolfo

Achievement in cinematography
Slumdog Millionaire, Anthony Dod Mantle

Achievement in costume design
The Duchess, Michael O’Connor

Achievement in directing
Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle

Best documentary feature
Man on Wire

Best documentary short subject
The Witness, Adam Pertofsky and Margaret Hyde

Achievement in film editing
Slumdog Millionaire, Chris Dickens

Best foreign language film of the year
Waltz with Bashir (Israel)

Achievement in makeup
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Greg Cannom

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,Alexandre Desplat

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
“Down to Earth” from WALL-E by Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman

Best motion picture of the year
Slumdog Millionaire

Best animated short film
Presto, Doug Sweetland

Best live action short film
Manon on the Asphalt, Elizabeth Marre and Olivier Pont

Achievement in sound editing
Slumdog Millionaire, Tom Sayers

Achievement in sound mixing
The Dark Knight, Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo and Ed Novick

Achievement in visual effects
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton and Craig Barron

Adapted screenplay
The Reader, David Hare

Original screenplay
In Bruges, Martin McDonagh

Just a few changes, but most importanty, I changed my hunches so I could conform to trends.

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